Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I could make wine with my vomit
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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