pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
