We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
