WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You need Xanax blowdarts
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
