it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
