You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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