I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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