I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
