at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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