Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
