you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
