Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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