yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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