Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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