She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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