Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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