Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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