Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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