i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Randomize
