Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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