giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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