i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
