Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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