I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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