dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
