its not stalking. its research.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
