If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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