I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
