When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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