I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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