Sry I called you an 8
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
