Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
