I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Everything about him screamed your future.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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