Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
