shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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