I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
