In America we eat man semen.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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