So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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