New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Boobs speak an international language.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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