Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
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