Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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