took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
