I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
