I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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