mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
