Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize