we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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