how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
