So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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