I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
