Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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