I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Mom said you looked used
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You left your phone here
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