I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
