im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
