I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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