i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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