hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
