Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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