Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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