I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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